“Daath creates change in so many ways that it cannot really be understood by those experiencing it. With regards to that fact, the demons involved change the spirit in more ways than can be quantified. That is the nature of the primordial key. Nothing changes unless the magickian is willing. Just open your heart and accept what changes occur.” -Belial
While I have previously discussed my gnosis of Daath, the divinities who govern it, and the beings who are trapped within it on multiple platforms, I have never spoken about the trials which Daathic initiation manifests in the mundane life of the celebrant. There is a simple reason for this: my first successful attempt at crossing the abyss was conducted during an extraordinarily tumultuous period in my life– so tumultuous, in fact, that I couldn’t tell which personal struggles were part of the Abyssic ordeal.
Now, I have crossed the abyss twice. I can see parallels in my first and second Daathic initiations, and because of that, I have a newfound clarity on the nature of Abyssic ordeals– or at least, on how they manifest in my life.
Daath has an extraordinary capacity for the transformation and reorientation of the witch. On one occasion, I remotely and forcibly initiated a stranger through Daath for the fun of it. His self-identified twin flame told me that he had betrayed her and others, and that he had forsaken his Satanic path and demonic guides. I proposed that we force him through the abyss without warning or consent, and Hekate confirmed that this was the right course of action. Within two months of our ritual, the man was back on the Qliphothic journey, back in a relationship with his twin flame, etc.
I watched the transformation that occurred within and without him from a distance. Once he had been informed of the fact that I had coerced him through Daath, he was grateful. He thanked me. After seeing the way that even unwilling Daathic initiation can change a person, I decided that I wanted to cross the abyss again.
Both of the Daathic initiations I underwent brought about something of a social reset. I was unexpectedly separated from a handful of local friends while I was crossing the abyss, and upon completing the journey, I was spontaneously rewarded with new friends that needed me just as badly as I needed them.
In addition to being distanced from local friends, I was influenced to depart from persons heavily influencing my spirituality. The first time I crossed the abyss, I permanently cut ties with my Occult mentor of the time. The second time, I left an Occult organization that I was part of.
The nature of these resets was nuanced. Some separations were beyond my control– some people moved far away, some people got irredeemably upset with me, etc. I couldn’t stop them from leaving. But when it came to the separations from Occult influences, Daath altered my perspective, showing me why I should depart. I separated myself from the mentor and the lodge of my own free will once the abyss showed me the bigger picture, so to speak.
There is a concept in the Occult community of practitioners getting stuck in the abyss– failing to adapt to its transformative forces and being stuck in the initiatory process for an undue period of time, if not forever. Becoming unexpectedly trapped in the abyss is a real phenomenon, but persons who know nothing of Daath often fallaciously accuse people who have crossed the abyss of being stuck in it. If you get stuck in the abyss, as I did during my second Daathic initiation, you will be given signs and/or messages indicating that that has occurred, and your Higher Self will be able to clearly delineate exactly what you should do to complete the initiation if you take the time to commune with it.
Getting out of Daath is just as transformative as going into it. It is upon the completion of the journey that your new friends are surreptitiously presented. In addition to this, exiting Daath will reconstruct your identity– you will realize how many times you’ve lied to yourself.
But of course, I am saying all this based upon personal anecdote. The journeys through the Qliphoth and Sephiroth are quite personal, so this essay must be taken with a grain of salt.