Suffering trauma, particularly in the formative stages of one’s lebensweg [life path or journey], sharply augments the spiritual potentiality of the afflicted. It wasn’t until I saw my behavior through the lenses of another person’s observations that I realized exactly how traumatized I had been.
But what I went through was nothing compared to the prior experiences of the persons I initiated, and I was confused as to why some of them appeared to surpass me from the moment of their inception into the Black Arts. I have learned not to mind this, as my covenmates and I take turns surpassing one another in various fields over the course of our ascents.
Many practitioners studied the Craft in their past lives and/or consorted with forces of infernality betwixt incarnations, and therefor incarnated with augmented potential. I wonder if mundanes sense their gifts and last out at them subconsciously. Those who do not pursue anodos, or magickal ascent, are destined to try and impede it. A time will come when the persons around you will lash out and try to drag you down to their level– a homeostatic impulse on the part of both the Cosmos and its inhabitants. Positivity, optimism, and aplomb are everything in these stages.
A person afflicted with illness or fatigue will want to neglect the Craft pending recovery, but it is these times when spiritual endeavor is truly needed the most. And it is natural, when encountering adversity, to drift away from one’s guiding spirits and loved ones, but to indulge in antisocial moping is the wort thing that one can do. Let your allies be your comfort and the Black Arts be your therapy, and you will find yourself all the better off for your commitment.