Above: My Sigil of Budsturga
Budsturga is described in the tradition of Hebdomadry as “a blue, aetherial entity” and as “a Dark God, of female aspect, trapped in the vortex between the causal and acausal spaces.” She described as representative of “hidden wisdom,” but as simultaneously dangerous to sanity. She occasionally appears as androgynous.
Budsturga’s influence is helpful in the act of dissolving the ego and achieving individuation. She can bring about astral projection with ease, but in a most unpredictable way. She can be called upon, within a lucid dream, to skry into and control another person’s dreams. She can help the witch break down astral barriers and auric defenses. She can be called upon to break down bad habits or personal inhibitions, but doing so with her auspices is risky.
Budsturga’s presence and influence is thoroughly disorienting. Visual hallucinations are a hallmark of her presence, and when she was around, I could not count to ten reliably when counting chants and stones). She also deeply impeded my short-term memory.
When Budsturga is summoned in an area where one has previously raised magickal energy, her presence acts as a catalyst, highly raising the spiritual polarity. A series of strong and easily perceptible manifestations will occur once Budsturga is dismissed. I was warned before doing this that I would want to perform a banishing ritual the next morning, and a tree spirit asked me to promise not to “curse the area” by calling forth Budsturga again. I agreed.
Budsturga relates to the elements of fire and water. Her magickal numbers are 45, 54, 96, 68, 42, 79, 64, and 87.
If I took anything she said to me at face value, I would be misled. I had to contemplate the deeper meaning behind her words. For example, “I am not your mother” was really “I am Naught, your mother.”
According to Ungon Epavucell, Budsturga appears as a blue light. She is a nuclear blue, the tint of a sickly man’s flesh. She is like a cancerous atom which infects whichever other atoms she comes into contact with. A witch that Ungon worked with asked Budsturga her name, and Budsturga responded with laughter.
Budsturga transcends duality, such that she can create and organize as easily as she can destroy and disorganize. She has great wisdom to direct and teach. One witch recorded Budsturga as appearing as a dark, faceless shape of greyish-blue light.
Her laughter was a very honest response, not a mockery of the questioner. She is a reveler laughing along with Azathoth. She is comparable to a magickian who has invoked Choronzon and allowed it to completely saturate her being. If the dweller of the Abyss is 333, then the laughing blue goddess is 27 and nine. If Da’ath is Death, then Budsturga is the psychopomp, the keeper of the gate, and the ferryman.
Budsturga corresponds to the 13th pathway on the Tree of Wyrd. 13 has long been understood to be a number relating to femininity and Khaos. In Kabbalah, the 13th path is where Da’ath is found.
A pair of Goetic demons named Ronwe and Stolas once told me to summon Budsturga and coerce her in their names. This went fine, until Gaubni showed up unexpectedly and released Budsturga from Ronwe and Stolas’s grasp. After the demons and I got control of the situation once again, I stepped into the shower water, holding a pair of magickal gemstones, to renew myself. I offered cigarettes as offerings to Budsturga and Gaubni alike after the ritual.
ODE Sigil of Budsturga: